You’re in the middle of a heated debate with your colleague. You want to come across as confident, but inside you feel like Bambi. During these difficult situations, there are actually two conversations happening at the same time. One is obvious: It’s the conversation out there in the world that we typically focus on — with our colleague, client, boss, subordinate, or friend. And the other is the equally important conversation — or, more typically, the negotiation — we’re conducting inside ourselves about the extent to which we’re willing and able to stretch beyond our comfort zones. The interesting thing is that you can apply some of the very same strategies you’d use for difficult conversations with someone else to the negotiations occurring within yourself.