To move beyond our assumptions and get on the same page as our colleagues, we need to develop our ability to make our thinking and assumptions more visible to the person we’re speaking with. We also need to look for opportunities to learn more about their thinking and assumptions. Here’s how to get started.

• Focus on the “what” instead of the “how.” When holding conversations with others, we tend to focus on the what (or the topic being discussed). But to have more effective conversations about any topic, we need to focus on the HOW (the way we’re engaging together, the kinds of language being used, and whose voice holds more power in the interaction). It’s the first step towards voicing our assumptions, correcting them, and getting on the same page.
• Once you’ve taken a step back to consider the dynamics of a conversation, you can create a “pause” by making a neutral observation aloud. Start by stating something that you see (“I’m noticing”) and then share your observation.
• Finally, follow up with an invitation. This can come in the form of a question, like, “How are you experiencing our dynamic?” The goal is to encourage others to voice what’s happening for them. This practice can help you and your team avoid the kinds of miscommunications that come from assuming you’re aligned.